and i appreciate.

have been thinking alot these few days.
think my brain is about to reformat soon.
my head is somehow always throbbing away and i feel dizzy quite a bit.

other than the job offers i have been so stressed about, i have been spending quite a fair bit of time at gleneagles.
my good friend's dad is critically ill in ICU and i wish to just spend some time with her.
seeing uncle tubed up in the ICU was painful.
even more so since i saw him 3months ago after his operation to remove the cancerous tumour in his liver, and he was optimistic about how everything would turn out.
an optimistic, semi-healthy person 3months ago, he is now on life support in ICU, fighting for his life.
i feel so.... empathetic, if that is the right word to use here. i feel so much for my friend and her family, but i can't put the feelings into words. i just don't know what to say. i hope she understands my feelings through my actions and hugs.

cancer is really a terrifying disease. it literally eats a person up.
life is really fragile..
just like vincent said, we gotta treat everyone like they'd be gone tomorrow.
so i have been working hard to meet my own expectations of my roles in life.
let everyone around me know how much they mean to me.

i guess after experiencing my grandma's sudden death, seeing jvs's dad's passing, and now my friend's dad situation, i appreciate my family more.

i love my daddy.
i've always been a daddy's girl. when i'm with daddy, i know i will be safe.
i know he will solve all my problems for me. although he pisses me off a lot, i do remember the things he has done for me.
when i was younger, i once developed a high fever in the middle of the night. my daddy carried me in his arms and ran to the 24hr medical centre near my place. i remember feeling terrible, yet once my dad carried me, i knew my illness would go away soon.
all throughout school life and even till now, daddy has been, and still is, my personal chauffeur. i am somehow always faced with situations when i can't get home myself. (last bus left already; no money to take cab; blistered foot/feet so i can't walk home; dizzy spells; caught in the drizzle/shower/thunderstorm; too lazy to go home myself very far from home etcetc). just a call from me, and daddy would nag alot and zoom by to drive me home. better than taxi companies' taxi booking service. personalised service you know? he knows where all my good friends stay, simply bcos he has been to all of their houses to pick me up. in fact, my daddy identifies my friends not by their names but by their address!
to me, my daddy is my hero, my playmate and my entertainer. although he can't help us in our studies cos he's pretty much uneducated, he contributed to me and meimei's lives by playing with us. he always bothered to entertain us by playing games with us, go swimming with us, teaching us how to ride bicycles etc. today, my daddy still entertains us by playing PS2 games with us (although he gets pretty blur about which player he is and keeps "game over-ing")
we get irritated at his attention seeking antics sometimes, but really he is quite funny and adorable.

i love my mummy.
she's my wonderwoman, my know-it-all, my guide book to life.
she always knows what's best for me. she's the one i turn to for advice and support.
and i know, eventually when i choose to walk my own path in life, she'll always be there to support me. mummy brought us up to be decisive, to be strong and to be cautious but bold when making decisions. i'd always thought i veered off these traits, and nic is the independent, strong and decisive one. but as i grow up and see more people around me, i realise i am really much better off than a lot of people in the "decisive, strong and bold" department. i appreciate my mummy's efforts for putting me in a top school and keeping me firmly grounded. i hate the elitist mentality, but being from one of the best schs in singapore create an exposure and experience like no other. and i am proud that i mix well with other people from other schools. although my mummy is a full-time working mother, she never compromises on the time she has for us. she still rushes home to cook a sumptuous dinner for the family, and does all the housework at home. i feel bad that i havent done well in my studies, not as well as she would have liked me to (mummy paid a lot trying to get me educated), but i hope i can make it up to her in other ways.

i could go on and on about my parents. but i'm being summoned for dinner.

being a parent is a tireless job. can't just quit being a parent when you get tired of looking after and being responsible of a child.
but still, i am looking forward to be a mother of the children of the man i love. :)

do you appreciate the people around you?
treasure them before it's too late.

Labels: a-day-in-our-life, penny-for-my-thoughts

random post no.16

i think this is going to be the random-est post everrrr!

i am so in love with the F4 song 在这里等你.
it is so damn nice can! freaking addictive.
just like 仔仔's 我不是F4 and 棒棒堂's YES!.
i am so shamelessly teeny-boppy.
this is what unemployment does to you.
while the bf is slacking working very hard at work to feed me, i sit in front of the computer and drool over other guys.
just kidding, baby. my favourite pastime is looking at my hair and picking out the split ends. how boring.

christmas came and went.
and so did new year's day.
am i old or what?!
while more than half of Singapore's crazy population was out partying with the crowds, i was at home, sitting in front of the tv, feeling very satisfied with the program on TVBS-asia channel.
what happened to the i-wanna-party feelings?

no specific new year resolutions for this year.
resolutions somehow are not achieved.
HAHAHAHA
this year, i just wanna learn. to live, to love, to mature, to treasure.

2007 was quite a happening year.
fair share of happiness and unhappiness.

i completed gms's fish farms project and exam.

i graduated.


i lost love.

i found full-time employment.
i quit that job and became unemployed.

said goodbye to my darling grandma.

i struggled with job search and doubted my self-worth.
but he never allowed me to put myself down. thank u, my baby.

birthday surprises 07!
a present that came to me thru snail mail! i luff 9jm!

and something i'd always wanted. from my boy! muacks*


most importantly, in 2007, i found freedom.
after so many half-hearted attempts and declaration of "i have let go", i know i have finally put down the burden.
after tormenting myself for so long, i finally realised that i have stopped crying when i look at our pictures. i can put away his gifts to me without shedding a tear.
so this is what freedom feels like. :)

ok i am very hungry so i shall go eat lunch.
XD

Labels: a-day-in-our-life, i-heart-9jms, Random Posts